It is no secret that I’ve had a difficult time finding work that I am completely satisfied with. As you all know I arrived to California from New Jersey 4 years ago. During my time in NY my career was in an upward momentum and I worked for Shipping Services Italia and my boss and I had a rare almost unicorn like relationship. (By Unicorn I mean almost mystical) I have searched and searched but could never match that relationship. Here I am at job # 4 in 4 years and feeling very unhappy.
At first I thought it was the bosses but then I realized that I have been measuring every company and every boss against an impossible bar. I am comparing them all to SSI and Max, sadly that will never be repeated. Also, now I realize, that in a way it is me….yes you heard me…. ME.
I have come to the realization that there is such a thing as East coast & West coast mentality. Better said personalities. I know you are thinking what the hell she is saying. But bear with me you will see.
When I arrived I was going 1 million miles an hour, there is such a thing of the mental state of a New York minute. Things can never be done later and you do not work 9-5 you work from 7:45 until done. Whatever time that may be.
At my first WC job everyone started shutting down at 4:50 and checking their hair and make-up….I was like what is it lunch time? I dress as a corporate employee, after all SSI was located in downtown SOHO. I was literally across the street from Prada and Armani and Louis Vuitton. I tripped over more movie stars in NYC than I have here. My colleagues would all ask me if I had a date or was I going to prom. So slowly I stopped wearing my pencil skirts and stilettos and now I wear jeans and sneakers to fit in.
Apart for the mental state on warp speed I was on, there is also a problem with my personality. Back east we don’t have time for your drama. If we don’t like you, we ignore you. We don’t care if you are dressed like a monkey …that is completely on you. We don’t care that you have lived next to us for 10 yrs. We rent “this “apt so please stay in yours. No I don’t need to borrow sugar, I have my own. We are surrounded by 1.5 million NY’ers and tourists and still feel completely alone. And that is OK. We are a bit brash and loud and straight to the point and we like it that way. Why would we lie? That takes too much time to think of something to say and not hurt your feelings. Then we have to remember what the hell we said the first time. Screw it…it’s not personal after all….so we tell you the ugly truth.
We raise our kids with a certain amount of awareness of the ugly world we live in. We don’t shield them from the truth or the fact that people swear. We just make sure they know that they better not say it in my presence or I will fuck them up. Oh yeah, we can say it…after all we pay the mortgage. We let them play video games but they need to play outside. We don’t drive them around like a taxi driver we make sure they know where they are going and then we show up to make sure they did it right. We instill freedom and independence to our kids. They have to earn their living at some point.
OK ..OK here I go telling you the California way and I don’t want to hear SHIT about my opinion. After all this is my blog for God’s sake.
Apart for the already described above about work. Flip flops are the shoe of choice. People shield their kids from everything!!! High school students get driven to school and at 16 are handed brand new cars. The young girls wear things that I consider underwear not shorts and if I ever see my daughters in that I would kill them. Men wear long hair and it’s cool. You can’t tell if you are talking to a multi-millionaire or a janitor they all dress like crap anyway. Dockers are the short of choice with white tube socks pulled up. Facial hair is cool and goatees are sooo in with the long hair. Don’t even get me started at the amount of tattooed people there are her and from all walks of life. Wall Street would have a cow…
Everyone is super politically correct…no jokes about anything that may be seen as off color. People are very emotional.
And then there are the plastics. Women that are so fake that even the carpet matches the drapes in case someone checks. You can tell who they are because their boobs turn the corner before they do. Or the wardrobe gives them away. They all talk like one of the Kardashians. So annoying.
Look there are plenty of things about California that are beautiful and love it. But man I miss my NY minute, mentality, way of talking….All of it. To me it all feels so real.
But this is home….for now….